Lake District - June 2008

I hadn't done a write up of this trip as we had all been there before together. Also there are numerous photo's from previous trips and the generally wet or overcast weather meant that new photo's would be a little gloomy etc.

Then I started remembering bits of the trip and so I thought I'd pen a few words. Hopefully this might encourage some of our newer members to come along on a trip, or suggest where they might like to go. I also felt that to miss the opportunity to gently pull the p*** out of our happy little band of voyagers would be such a shame, so here goes

We set off from outside Ling's of Watton at 8am on the Friday with hope rather than expectation with regards to the weather - the forecast for where we were was good and for where we were going was wet. No change there then for Extreme Rain Riders.

Carl had previously e-mailed suggesting we set off early so we might have a "leisurely" ride. I had to check that this was the same Carl as the one on the left. Apparently it was one and the same; he had bought a TransAlp and AA Ray had bought an Aprilia Thumpything. Again, was this the same Ray that we all knew and revered for his hilariously funny practical jokes? Indeed, was this another of his practical jokes? John arrived on his V-Strom and Tony with his Aprilia DoubleThumpything. The only four cylinder bike on this trip was Gary's Fazer Thou, complete with new topbox. I took my Yamaha TDM Thrummything.

Across the rolling Lincolnshire Wolds, having stopped for petrol at Horncastle, we crossed the majestic Humber Bridge and stopped for a natural break at the viewing point on the other side. The two semi-offroaders were doing well on their knobbly tyres as the pace had been fairly relaxed so far. Through Beverley and across to Malton, I indicated a wrong turn so we missed the Helmsley to Stokesley road and instead headed for Thirsk. As it happened, this was probably for the good as the weather closed in a little later and we would have had further to ride in the rain. When the rain did come it was quite heavy and persistent. Despite waxing my boots they were still leaking, although the reproofing to my jacket was working well. I later discovered that the taped seams in my nylon overtrousers had given up a bit, so they had to be replaced in Keswick (although they weren't needed I'm pleased to say).

I had some Rainex in my topbox and had meant to apply some at the fish & chip stop in Thirsk; its funny these days, but 6 biker blokes go into a fish & chip cafe and most want to be oh so virtuous " I won't have fish and chips, we'll be eating later", that is until a couple of us order haddock & chips (they don't like cod oop North) and the others follow. Anyway, back to the Rainex; I didn't apply any, so after a while I couldn't see a thing. Rain on the outside and the inside. I thought it was just me, but everyone was the same. If the anti-bike brigade knew what it was like riding a bike in such conditions, we'd be banned at once. Surely, if we put a man on the moon in 1969 someone can design a crash helmet with air-con and rain clearing abilities?

However, into Keswick and found the B&B. John nicked the single room, Carl and Ray nabbed the twin, leaving Gary, Tony and myself to the triple room, although it was good size. The landlady took our wet gear to try and dry it, although the next morning it was clear that she had met with limited success.

A change of clothes and a walk into Keswick - I think we had all developed a thirst on our ride and stopped at a few pubs for some beers before settling on a curry, which was not too bad at all - the Lime Pickle was particularly fine - like putting your tongue on a PP9 battery.

Saturday morning was dry if cloudy with showers forecast. Carl and Ray wanted to go their own way so they could do some smaller roads and tracks, John went off alone to find some of his Round Britain Rally landmarks, leaving the Triple Room Tourers to plot a course for the day. We rode with the knobbly pair (the tyres were quite knobbly too) as far as Buttermere where they split off to go in search of tracks and Yeti.

The Triple Room Tourers headed west and soon came across the old mining area of the Lake District - still rather desolate and a million miles from Ambleside and Keswick in terms of being picturesque. We stopped at a cafe in the town of Egremont, which we re-named Excrement. I think the coffee was made from acorns or something and although you could get a full roast lamb dinner for £3.95, we declined. Although we tried to text Carl and Ray to say we wouldn't be able to meet them in the afternoon, there was no signal and we didn't want to hang around this particular part of the Lakes, so we had a quick look at Sellafield (ER have now ticked off Sizewell, Dounray and Sellafield) and continued across the Hardknott and Wrynose passes. Speaking to Carl later, who had done the same later that day, we both agreed that they are a lot harder going west/east than the other way. The gradients and turns have to be seen to be believed but unfortunately it is virtually impossible to stop a bike to take a picture.  I played chicken with a 4 x 4 down in the valley on the single track road as he kept driving straight down the narrow road towards me, assuming I would move over. I didn't. I just stopped ahead of him and nodded my head to the side as if to say "you have the offroader, go offroad then!" which he did onto the gravel at the side. I think car drivers think we can just stop/start/reverse on any slope or road condition.

We three stopped for afternoon tea (cream tea of course) and then went on up past Ullswater towards Penrith, then back to the B&B on the A66. Tony decided he hadn't had enough, and in the evening sunshine set off as only Tony can, with no map and no sense of direction. We didn't see him until about 8.30 pm when we were eating in a very strange pub/hotel, but the only one which had tables. The next couple of days Carl, myself and I think Ray had dodgy stomachs, so perhaps the locals knew something we didn't. Tony was too late for the Salmonella Fest and got himself a pizza later.

After another very tasty breakfast we all split into the same groups as the previous day. I wasn't sure if I would just spend a day bimbling round Keswick, given my stomach cramps, but Carl gave me a couple of tablets and I thought I'd see how it went as the day progressed. Today we thought we would go up to Alston (John had been the day before) via the famous Hartside Pass, then come back down and have a cuppa in the Hartside Top cafe. It really is a good bit of road - very fast, sweeping and undulating and plenty of opportunities to catch out the unwary. It was certainly very windy and wild at the top, with ominous rain clouds that looked as if they had showered just ahead of us, so we didn't actually get wet. I think I had another cream tea. Prior to that we had been pulled in by the local bike cops (together with a following group) for a safety pep talk. No checking of bikes for loud 'zorsts and dark visors (Tony and Gary relieved I would imagine) just a pleas to do 30 in the 30's, 40 in the 40's etc. They even said they don't expect bikes to do 60 elsewhere as we come for the bends, but respect villages and other road users. Fair enough, but that's what we have always done as a club anyway.

We had stopped for a natural break and a drink at Allenheads, an old lead mining village. The Lake District had a lot of mining for various minerals over the years. John had been on his round Britain rally and seems to have photographed a stone penis.

On return to the B&B we found that Carl and Ray had returned quite early and gone into Keswick for coffee and Ray had found a joke shop. Needless to say, our room remained locked at all times, but we did let him in to apple pie Tony's bed, but I think he had been expecting it anyway so it didn't have the desired effect.

That evening we had a table in a local pub which professed to sell an excellent Hungarian Goulash. It was tasty enough, but I think the Hungarian left his boot in the pot as the meat was a bit gristly and could have done with an hour or so more slow cooking I think. Back to the B&B for a fairly early night, via the cashpoint to pay the landlady in the morning. It was at this point John lost his wallet (he discovered the next morning), but the story has a happy ending as it was handed in the the local police station the next morning. John set off alone again to complete more of his rally.

Homeward bound then, across the A684, through Hawes and Bainbridge, my TDM up front. Ray was behind me on the Aprilia Thumything and it was surprisingly punchy and agile on the more nadgery roads. I backed the TDM in to one corner, on purpose, of course (no, not really) and we took in the Helmsley/Stokesley road, stopping in Stokesley for a snack and a drink from the newsagent. Tony led us off and there was little traffic about as the weekend had passed. No plod either. Another stop for fuel and over the Humber Bridge. When we came up we were leisurely, the nearer we got to home I think everyone just wanted to get there, so when Gary took the lead on the Caistor road, the pace hotted up somewhat. So much so that Ray's single cylinder Aprilia was really not up to the task, and he struggled at the back, especially as that B1225 has no villages to speak of so few opportunities to catch up in the 30mph areas. Emergency fuel diversion for some, then off again towards Boston and the A17. The traffic was heavy and after a stop at the Farm Cafe for a cuppa, I think we all just blitzed it back, poor Ray being hopelessly underpowered at the back and wringing the poor bikes neck just to keep up.

Anyway, we all got home safe and sound, which is the main thing. Since that trip, Ray has chopped the Thumpything in for a Doublethumpything but the Mille version, not the Tuono one. The question is, will Carl keep the TransAlp?

So, looking forward to Wales when I will take the old yellow peril for the first time in two years. It should sound pretty good with 4 V-twin 1000's, a V-twin 700 and Gary - take that baffle out!

Just hope Mr Brunstrom's Traffic Taliban are on holiday for that Bank Holiday weekend!

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